The wizards have grown brains in a test tube. Do you believe it? I believe it – and not ’cause I’m as gullible as I once was when my paraplegic neighbor, Randy, told me that he was grown in a test tube. To justify that, imagine being 7 and finding out he had no belly button – right? Right? That’s creepy scary. So of course I believed the reasoning that his body was grown in a test tube because, and this is the really important part so pay attention, I was smart enough to know that you had to have a belly button because fetuses were fed by umbilical cord. Smart, eh? But yeah, no. He was not a test tube baby, as he claimed. What kind of man tells 7 year-olds that he is a test tube baby? The kind of man who was once an Olympic ski-jumping hopeful and then lost it all with one minor slip of the foot, that’s who.
Anyway. Back to the more relevant stuff.
So they, the Wizardly Wizards of Wizarddom, have grown pea-sized brain-like structures in a lab using only stem cells and a spinning nutrient bath of blood-like substance and oxygen. Dude. For real. They got the brain tissue to develop into the early regions of what would be the visual cortex, the cerebral cortex, and the hippocampus. That’s memory, awareness, and sight right there. Of course, the brain has no body, therefore no eyes and, if you’re me, you’d be fully sure there were no actual consciousness possible in such a structure. But, I guess that’s the whole mess of it, isn’t it? What the fuck is consciousness, anyway?
Honestly, no one knows.
That is a cerebral organoid at the commencement of some retinal tissue (translation: that is a piece of brain gunk with some eye starts on it)
Beyond that, if that wasn’t enough to blow your thoughts straight out of mediocrity and into an all out state of awe and reverie, the Wizardly Wizards of Wizarddom have also found out how to make the brains that are attached to consciousness in this world communicate with one another. Communicate. With Action. Spooky action. At a distance.
No shit.
Although it started with a video game and one finger moving and has now progressed to verbalization transmittal, it probably ends with random people hacking into your brain to control not your mind, which is obviously outside your brain (except no one knows it yet), but your body. Fully. You’ll be aware of it but not able to stop it. What do you think of that possibility?
Seriously, I know that it would be cool to communicate with one another directly from our minds without having to use our amazing smart phone capabilities or whatever, but I think we should try the other way, through spiritual enlightenment, instead. No joke, there’s less chance of the Robocalypse destroying every shred of what makes us human, that way.
Meditation is better than growing brains in test tubes or directing someone’s finger from afar, I promise. Other than that, Wizards of Wizardly Wizarddom are sure intensely smart beings, aren’t they? I wonder what they’ll do next. I hope it’s not finding out our minds really are non-local, only so they can hack into them and control them via some awful machine.
If that does happen, you won’t find me anywhere near here. See you in the Pleiades.
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