I had a dream I talked to God. God was just sort of a nebulous vastness of good and light. My mind projected a kindly, old, white and hairy guy behind it all, but that is not what I saw. That was just my visualization as I chatted, since it’s weird to talk to nebulous love clouds.
In the past, I’ve had dreams of God and he has been a giant, hugely overweight black man seated at a table of full, with cornucopias of plenty simply overflowing in abundance and he was wearing a brightly colored Hawaiian shirt. So I’m not completely racist when asleep.
I have lost the first part of the conversation we had, God and I, to a sort of general dream amnesia. But I fade into the dream near the end, when I asked God if Michelangelo and Leonardo were divinely inspired. God laughed at me like you would laugh at a child asking you if you were a child once. God said, “Of course they were.” I’m just realizing right now that God was actually Gandalf, so, now you can picture that if it helps. Anyway, I am still just sitting in a radiant-light fog cloud, so I am not actually sitting there with Gandalf, I am just picturing him as I talk. Then I asked if he could give me one of their pieces, a Michelangelo or DaVinci, inspired, original.
Just sayin’, a girl’s gotta try.
He laughed again and said of course he couldn’t. I just accepted this and sat a while in silence, enjoying the time as though I were on vacation and lying on the beach. Then another question came to me. I asked him if my dog, Ranger, had been his creation and I wondered whether my buddy went to heaven, where we seemed to be hanging out at the moment. He laughed again, in that same way that said I was endearing myself to him. Again, he said, “Of course.”
I got really happy, like ridiculously happy. Joyful, in fact. I loved that dog. I guess a lot of people feel that way about their dogs and I’m not saying this was different. I just really felt that we were connected spiritually and I felt that he was such an intelligent creature who bordered on psychic in his uncanny ability to predict things and understand exactly how I was feeling or what I needed. That dog saved my life in more ways than one.
I asked him if he could give me Ranger back.
Just sayin’, a girl’s gotta try.
He did not laugh, he just said, “Yes.”
I woke up then and wondered what time it was. I heard a noise from the living room and wondered if my roommate had not left yet. Then I realized it was a growling sort of sound. I got scared that somehow a wild animal was in our house — I was so confused. But, deep inside of me, I remembered: it was Ranger’s greeting sounds. I’m telling you, this was exactly his exact sound he would make if you just got home from a long day of being away…..I was overjoyed, didn’t question it, and ran into the living room. There was my best friend in the universe.
He was so much older than the last time I saw him, so I couldn’t just run up to him and wrestle like I would’ve. I instead exclaimed, embraced him, and gently pulled him toward me as much as I could. I felt his fur, I smelled his dogginess, and I looked right into his eyes. This was my dog. I didn’t question. I held him and hugged him and we fell asleep together and I didn’t question.
Then I woke up, again. I wondered what time it was, again. I realized it had been a dream. I realized it had been a dream and that this wasn’t.
But it had seemed so real.
I’m a really joyful kind of sad, now. It had felt so real. It had smelled and looked and sounded so real and it had been so vivid and my mind is having a hard time understanding what real even is. That’s how real it was.
And so, part of me knows that God made true on his deal.
I love you, Ranger. Thanks for the visit.
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