Make Meaning

The universe has existed forever.

We don’t even know what that means.

There is no way for our grey-limited brains to comprehend the meaning of limitless. The idea can’t solidify. We are stuck in that limitation, physically.

Then again, we are not so physical, are we? No matter which way I bend it, twist it, examine it and pick it apart, I can’t help but see that we are mostly non-physical. I am mostly not here, not really. A body takes space, it’s space that I use. I identify with the thing that stares back at me when I maneuver in front of a mirror. I see me.

But, I’ve never really seen, not with the orbs in my face, the beingness that is who I am.  I am mostly flying around in an endless swirl of mind. It feels like freedom: there are no limitations there. There are no endings there.

When I was with you, I was there forever. I’m still there now. Wherever I’ll be in the future, I am there already, I always have been there, I will be there forever. When we exchange words, when our eyes meet, when our soft bodies touch — those linger, unchanging, unbreakable, untakeable. Your hurt can dig trenches in my soul without end. Your love can enlarge the circumference of the world to infinity.

So, maybe we should be careful what we do.

And, then again, we have already done it all.

In an endless universe, every possibility exists. Every single deviation from every single norm, every last nuanced iteration of every moment of anywhere, any time, exists.

Always.

I can’t take it back, but there’s a universe where I never did it at all. I can fight against any urge, but there’s a universe where I didn’t. You can conquer anything or fail abysmally, but either way, you’ve done both.

If anything is anything and everything has been, will be, or just is, we feel we have no purpose, no meaning, no purpose. What is the point?

You ask me like I know, and I don’t…but I do…

Because there’s a universe for that. My knowing tells me that the point is this: in this moment, right here, in this universe, I exist and I feel and I live and I can’t go back and I can’t see what comes next. I have nothing but here, now, and I choose to make it meaningful.

An observer creates the observed, the universe has been here endlessly. Just, do what you will… and I will, too.

I’ll take the meaning, suck it out and spit it onto the canvas like it was mine alone.

And it is; there’s a universe for that.