Many of you know my struggle with Hashimoto’s. I was diagnosed circa 2015 and was told my lethargy and weight gain were attributed to this barely understood auto-immune condition in which the body freaks out and attacks the thyroid. They tested me for “hashis” (you’re supposed to test at about 10 and I tested at 999) and prescribed some dessicated pig thyroid called levothyroxine. I was told my symptoms would go away and I’d be better.
And I was better, a little. I lost 10 of the 40 lbs I had gained and reacquired some of my energy I had once had. But not all. I was told that was just how it was.
As years progressed, I found my symptoms getting worse again, even ridiculous caloric restriction alongside exercise was not causing me to lose any weight at all, seeming mathematically and physically impossible, and even developing new symptoms like horrifying PMS, random bumps and red dots all over my body, crazy hair loss at some points in the month, and extreme memory loss. One day, I couldn’t remember my own phone number. I had to look it up in my own phone, somewhat shaken and trying to hold it together to read it to some nice service person or another before finally escaping to my car and crying because I couldn’t understand what was happening to me. Some days, I couldn’t get off the couch. The most awful people in my life told me I was depressed even though I knew I wasn’t. The best people in my life kept researching with me and trying to figure it out. My doctor lowered my dose of my only medicine that can supposedly help while telling me my symptoms may get worse until I die.
I got my diagnosis when I was 34, I’m 39 now. What kind of a medical system tells a relatively high-health individual they are going to suffer until they die and gives up on them? A completely barbaric, brainwashed, and systematized death-industry does that. Nothing related to healing is ever going to come from these people. You need a thumb chopped off or an implant of some kind? Sure, go to them. But don’t expect them to help you if you’ve got alleged autoimmune issues, because they’ll leave you to slowly decay into oblivion without blinking.
I needed real help. I am so amazingly blessed to be connected to so many truly insightful and well studied individuals by the nature of my work, and the call went out when I reported to my audience and friends in this community that I had suddenly had the worst flare up yet. I had been driving in a downpour the likes of which we rarely see in this arid, Colorado mountain-scape. Suddenly, I felt very hot and tired and my bones began to ache. It wasn’t just ache, it was pulsing, seething, deep crumbling of my entire skeletal structure, it felt like. I’ve rarely been in as much pain. I fell asleep exhausted and awoke to some level of energy that slowly dwindled throughout the day and sent me crying back to bed and worse. I was sick like I had a flu, but with no flu, no fever, no purging. My brain could barely connect this new set of horrors to Hashimoto’s, but there was no other explanation. Suddenly my throat and chest became so painful I thought I might need to think about hospitalizing myself in case I was going to stop being able to breath or in case I was about to have a heart attack. It was that strange, sudden, unprecedented, and worrisome. Luckily, I calmed down and just rested more and, even better, I shared the crazy flare up of new symptoms with the people who love me and what I do.
Despite that a close friend of mine had previously told me all about how herpes is the silent, worldwide infection manifesting in infinite ways and at near-total infection rates, I had never once connected that to Hashimoto’s, because herpes is nerve damage and sores, to me. Herpes isn’t THIS. But when someone heard my recent pains and crazy flare up on the show, they sent me some snippets from ‘Thyroid Healing’, by Anthony Williams. This small act probably saved my life.
At the very least, it instantly transformed it. Never before in my life had any of my doctors ever put together the long string of autoimmune I’d lived through for 30 years. It started with rashes and welts I would get as a child, onset beginning shortly after I had Scarlet Fever at the age of 9. Suddenly I had rashes from any old random thing, never the same thing twice: Suddenly went from air conditioning to hot sun? Rashes. New soap? Rashes. Stress? Rashes. Running? Rashes. We went to a doctor back then and he simply said, “We don’t know what it is, but it is autoimmune related and the best thing you can do is try to notice what triggers it and cut those things out.” We bought glycerin only soap and this or that, but they never really stopped until I became much healthier with my diet, something I only realize looking back from this long vantage point.
A bit later, circa 2006, when I was no longer a child and was now 25, I suddenly and mysteriously swelled up in my ankles, knees, and hips and could not walk for three whole days. Luckily I had just moved in with a very kind roommate, for the first time in my life not living alone, because I would not have even been able to take care of myself without her help. When I finally went to a doctor, his response was, “You probably have Rheumatoid Arthritis, but it is so strange for it to suddenly come on like this and since it has never happened before and we can only test for it during a flare up, we won’t know unless it happens again.” I am now, as I was then, incredibly disappointed in how very little these supposed health experts ever help.
Life went on and I did not have arthritis like that ever again, and when I developed what we call Hashimoto’s, no one ever asked me if I had previous autoimmune issues, so I also didn’t think of them as connected.
Back to the book, ‘Thyroid Healing’, by Anthony William, screen-shotted to me by a dear one who loved me enough to see the truth and share it, and here I’m reading my exact life story, shockingly putting pieces together but under the auspices that the entire show is orchestrated by a herpes-villain known as Epstein Barr:
- I get Epstein Barr infection acutely at age 9 and they call it Scarlet Fever (sometimes it is called Rheumatic Fever, sometimes Glandular Fever, and sometimes Mono)
- I proceed to develop ongoing autoimmune symptoms which are actually indicative not of my immune system being defunct and attacking me but of it LOVING ME ENOUGH to try to root out this bastard infection that is, nonetheless, winning the battle, all unbeknownst to me
- My immune system starts to win as I develop health awareness and eat lots of fresh, raw produce in my raw vegan phase and I have no symptoms
- I continue eating somewhat healthy even when I release my raw veganism, but I get abducted by a man on a dark street at night and barely escape, inducing some old PTSD and, being a big enough trauma, it triggers a reemergence of the Epstein Barr Virus that LOVES stress and adrenal dumping and often reemerges in people recently undergone deep stressors like death of loved ones or divorce. So my ankles, knees, and hips flared up like rheumatoid arthritis, which is almost always a misdiagnosis of EBV infection.
- I continue to improve as I’m eating relatively healthy and still young and active, but eventually I eat a little sloppier and then get a divorce, another attack by a strange man I barely survive, and sell my house all within a month and develop what they mistakenly call Hashimoto’s because, at this late stage, the EBV invader has finally overcome my body’s best defenses to infest my own, poor thyroid.
- Slowly, I get worse and worse as everyone at this point generally does, not understanding what’s actually wrong or what to do about it. I still continue to eat relatively well, but that’s no longer enough, it is long past due for battle lines to be drawn and my body cannot keep the fight up any longer.
- The final straw is me receiving a hornet sting, the first sting since I was 4 years old. It swells a little, hurts a bit, itches some, but otherwise doesn’t seem so big a deal. But within 24 hours I am bone aching, hot, exhausted, collapsing and crying with no energy to continue living. Turns out, EBV also enjoys insect stings for the storm they induce in the body, allowing it to mount an even stronger attack.
It all made too much sense and this beautiful man described literally every stage of progression and every trigger that preceded it from age 9 to age 39, step by step with no detours. The scary part was when he described that the next stages beyond where I’m currently sitting tend to involve thyroid cancer, permanent nerve damage, and possibly death.
I cried a lot. No one had ever reached out to help me in any of these flare ups or progressions, they had only told me I would suffer until I died or, worse, tried to make me feel it was nothing, I was just depressed, or that it was my fault. But here was this man offering me understanding and HOPE.
He told me my body was not my enemy and had been fighting for me so hard, all along the way, and was actually my best friend and ally and I cried more because my whole life I was told my body was defunct, hated me, and was going to attack me slowly and methodically until I withered and disappeared, having lived a life of pain.
I cried finally for the hope I now had that I would live the rest of my life THRIVING and strong, better, in fact, than ever before.
That night I went into sacred space and I found my meditation spot where I sit with my death and become friends with it. Atop the tent made of my dead body and skin stretched stood Epstein Barr Virus. He was grey-purple, gaunt, fat-bellied, and with a head I could make no sense of. We beheld each other as equal forces: well-met, formidable foes on the battlefield for my life. I promised him he would die now, he shrugged, “maybe.” Then, I somehow saw through him and saw the truth: he was crying inside and so sad that he had failed so miserably. I assumed he was crying because he was sent to kill me and already knew that fate would prove otherwise…
But, the next day, I read how our bodies and EBV used to be friends. EBV ate the heavy metals, excess adrenal and stress hormones, and detritus in our body in a beautiful symbiosis. But we began to accumulate more of this garbage at stronger and stronger concentrations as industry became more and more toxic and concentrated and put more and more stress and waste into our lives. We couldn’t avoid it and EBV couldn’t do anything but learn to eat more and more until, one day, it NEEDED more and more and became an infection which we could no longer survive. I understood the crying EBV, then. I have a sort of sorrow for our bastardizing of its life path and soul desire. It is a beast of our own making.
Now we pay the price, and so does it.
I will heal my body through avoiding the most toxic foods, GMOs, and products high in fat or heavy metals while eating foods high in healing compounds, fresh green juices and smoothies, and nutrient dense, organic, and wild produce. Specifically I will follow the regimens outlined in Anthony Williams’ book, Thyroid Healing, as even a light smattering of beginning to incorporate some of the protocols has reversed my flare ups twice, now. Importantly, I will avoid eggs, as viruses like this feed primarily off of them (we taught them to by incubating viruses and vaccines in eggs for decades), cut out dairy and gluten entirely, and cut out corn entirely as well. Non specifically, I will drink as much celery and cucumber juice, fresh-squeezed, as possible and consume mostly fresh produce and not a lot of meat. I will likely eat like this for the rest of my life.
I’ve gone back to the space I found EBV within and told it: I love you, thank you for trying to live in balance with me, I will kill you, but only the most aggressive and mutated bits of you. The other 10% of you, still balanced and well, can stick around and help me continue to eat up the random heavy metal and overproduced hormone, if you like.
Epstein Barr and I are going to be good friends, eventually. My body and I are back to being good friends again, already. It’s been too long since we were bosom buddies and too little have I given it a healthy chance at protecting itself, but that’s all over now. From now on, I see the enemy that invaded and the enemy of my own making and I’ll kill them both. Only friends will remain.
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